Fore Info January 2020

Management Corner

Clubhouse Development

The comprehensive and fully costed Business Case for the Clubhouse Development Programme is nearing completion, at least in draft form.

The plan now is to secure specialist input to the document from other relevant committees, and then to gain overall approval of it from ManCom. At that point we will to bring it before members, with a two week notice period for a Special General Meeting for final approval and project go-ahead. 

It is still our intention that this will be undertaken at some point during January.

The Plan will provide the following:

  • An Executive Summary
  • Detailed Membership Analysis (past)
  • Why development of the clubhouse is necessary, indeed essential
  • Members’ survey (reprise)
  • What is being proposed (pre and post consultation phases)
  • What this will deliver for the club (5 year membership, subscription and other income projections, along with detailed assumptions)
  • How much it will cost – and over what time period
  • How it can be funded
  • A detailed Risks Plan, including impact and probability analysis, and controlling factors
  • Roles and responsibilities going forward
  • Critical path (milestones etc)

So there is plenty going on, despite the seeming lull in activities….!

Thank you again for all the support you continue to give this important project.

Golf Studio

On other matters we are delighted to confirm that the Golf Studio project up in the Driving Range has received planning permission, and following the enforced delay, is now all but complete. This will undoubtedly add further asset to the club’s already considerable training and practice capability. 

The Course ‘First Impressions’ project, detailed in the Green’s Section is a further example of the investment our club continues to make for the future of the club, and for the legacy we are providing future generations of golfers.

Nick Duncan

Chair, Planning and Development Committee

From the Club Captain

Happy New Year to you all.  Not only a new year, but also a new decade and, almost certainly and even more importantly, the start of our club’s 130th year.

Last month in my report, I was only able to ‘guess’ about the Captains Drive-In which took place as the December Fore Info went to press.  It proved to be a very successful event masterminded by Les Thorne, particularly as the four of us Captains managed not to disgrace ourselves even if none of our ceremonial tee shots finished near the hole. 

Special mention needs to be made of George Skayman and the Pullinger young who formed a ‘military’ escort  to the ‘tee’.  George & I both served for a ‘few’ years in the Army – unlike me he can still get into his uniform!  

Thank you also to Lesley Martin who organised the sale of drive-in sticks and a huge thank you to all of you who brought ‘sticks’ and thus contributed so generously to start off this year’s Captains Charity, the new Winchester Hospice.

The weather was fair for the Drive-In and indeed the rest of the first week in December during which I was honoured to join the Vets Xmas Scramble on a cold crisp morning.  Our golf was followed by a warming and excellent Christmas lunch.  By the following week when the ladies had their Xmas Scramble the weather was most unkind and, only now as I write this, it is beginning to improve.

Unfortunately, I was not able to attend Jim & Rob White’s Quiz but am quite sure the many who were present had an enjoyable if taxing evening.

2020 will be Malcolm’s 40th year as our Pro and as you all will have heard by now he is planning to retire in October 2020. 

Having been with us so long there are various events that have become part of our tradition. 

One such is the Pro’s Christmas Draw and the Sunday carvery.  Malcolm and Jane welcomed members with a new golf ball and a pre-lunch Christmas drink.  As ever the draw threw up some interesting random combinations of winners and prizes, a full list is on the Social notice board in the foyer.

The 40th annual Pro v Captain Challenge was scheduled for Boxing Day – another Scott introduced AGC tradition.  Normally many members and their friends & families turn out to play.  This year the weather was so dire that by 09:30 only 2 fourballs of the Thorne family had braved the elements.  In the end 21 ‘lunatics’ plus Malcolm and I played.   As has become a bit of a habit in recent times Malcolm’s team won, 4-2.  After golf we were joined in the clubhouse by ‘less hardy’ or maybe more sensible members and their guests.  As ever the Social Committee were on hand with Whisky Macs and refreshments.

The first Men’s match of the season, the scratch match against the County on 16 February, will soon be with us.  We need 20 Cat 1 & 2 players and a further 10 Cat 3 players to partner the County team.  A request for players will go up shortly.  Please consider putting your names down for this match as it’s an opportunity to play with our top amateur players.

Finally, good golfing to you all over the coming year.

Mary Rook

Ladies Section

Happy New Year 2020 – the start of a new decade and a leap year!

The shortest day has come and gone and we are now back on the upwards tilt, the birds are already sounding more lively & bright. 

December has been the wettest ever, so wet that the course was actually closed for an hour one morning while the greens drained, quickly reminding us all how lucky we are at Alresford Golf Club – many neighbouring courses would have been under water all day!

I attended a seminar at Hockley run by Hants County Golf regarding the new handicapping system. It was interesting that there were more questions than answers, luckily it doesn’t come in till the end of the year and I’m sure, by then, our able handicap secretary Gill will have it cracked. 

December has been an active month, the Turkey Trot was played on a fine day with the winners expecting at least a Turkey but instead receiving blank envelopes!  Don’t worry Ladies all will be well. 

The Vets kindly invited Mary Rook & I to play in their Texas Scramble, a very frosty morning with ‘frosted’ greens throughout. It was very enjoyable and we were made very welcome. Bob Archer took the sartorial prize at lunch with his ‘flashing’ jacket, and colourful, non-matching tie and shirt!

Our own Ladies Texas Scramble however was another matter, rain was forecast & games in the Hall planned but luckily all 70 plus managed to play 9 holes with no one crying off. The last teams unfortunately returned like drowned rats, but not one complained – I was proud & impressed with the good will & strength of character displayed. We enjoyed

a delicious traditional Turkey lunch, with another 9 ladies joining us, Carol Roe provided a fun Quiz to keep us occupied and Mandy Caldwell lead us singing carols, she had rehearsed her excellent Niblicks and they sang some interesting alternative verses! The winning teams resulted in 8 winning Christmas glass baubles, handmade by Muslims, decorated by Christians, and packaged in Bethlehem by Israelis – a small but beautiful reminder of what Christmas is about. 

Lyn Travers was fondly remembered, she died early in December after a very brave fight. 

The following week we had a Roll Up, another wet morning but 12 intrepid ladies played ‘a multiplier’ which I thought was rather unkind! Two out of three need to score which isn’t always easy in December. 

Malcolm & Jane unexpectedly announced their retirement at the end of 2020 so it was rather poignant when they hosted their last Pro Christmas Draw in the Pro’s Shop. A great atmosphere, wine and beer flowed, followed by another delicious Sunday lunch, then so many great prizes from the Shop. Almost everyone who bought a ticket won something. (except me)

The Boxing Day Roll Up was another write off, although some hardy souls played – mostly called Thorne! 

New Years Eve will be fun at the Club & Chris‘s menu looks delectable. The Ladies Committee will run the Club Roll Up the following day and we look forward to seeing you all, providing it’s not raining! Chris is kindly leaving us some soup & rolls as the kitchen is shut.

Finally please remember it’s the partaking not the winning that’s important and I am looking forward to seeing as many of you as possible in the coming year. 


Mal Hope-Mason 

Match Committee Report

Annual Review of Handicaps

The Committee will be conducting the Annual Review of handicaps for men on Friday 17th January. We will also be carrying out a review of the performance of players who have been returning a long sequence of scores above their buffer zone.  Players whose handicaps are adjusted as a result of these reviews will be notified by email or letter. The Annual Review for the ladies will be held towards the end of the month. 

Closure of 13th Hole

It is anticipated that at some time in January the 13th hole will be closed to allow the front bunker to be replaced by two ‘spectacle’ bunkers as described in the Hawtree Report. When this happens a replacement hole located on the Academy Course should be used. 

The replacement hole will be clearly signed. The tee for the replacement hole is located approximately half-way along the 3rd Academy hole and the green is the one used for the 6th Academy hole making the length of the replacement hole about 150 yards. 

Players should play the 14th after finishing the 12th hole, and then play the replacement hole (17A) after the 17th and before the 18th. Those

playing foursomes must remember that the player who did not tee off on the 12th must now tee-off from the 14th and the team must continue to alternate tee shots. The stroke index for hole 13 should be used for hole 17A and the score for hole 17A should be recorded against hole 13 on the scorecard.

Wrong Green

Now that we have temporary greens marked on the course, a reminder about wrong greens. A Wrong Green is any green on the course other than the putting green of the hole being played. This includes all marked temporary greens. You must take free relief if your ball comes to rest on a wrong green or the wrong green physically interferes with your stance – ie you must not stand on the wrong green to play your shot. The relief area is 1 club length from the reference point.

Summer Knock-outs

The winter isn’t quite over yet, but we’ve started planning for the summer now.  The entry sheets for the Men’s and Mixed Summer Knock-outs – Wessex Singles, Ross Over 50’s Singles, Cooper Foursomes, Rotherham Mixed Foursomes and the Company Cup – will in the Pro’s Shop by mid-January. The closing date for entries will be Sunday 9th March and the draws will be posted in the following week.

George Clelland

A Look at the Rules


In a 4BBB match A&B are playing C&D; A is the lowest handicap.

Prior to the match A withdraws and the match is played B vs C&D.


Are the handicap strokes calculated off the lowest handicap player present or the absent player?

Vets Section

Now the shortest day has passed, we can begin to dream of longer and warmer days, but not quite yet. Winter will no doubt yet throw something more dramatic and challenging at us.

Talking of winter, the Vets are pushing on with their Wessex Seniors Winter League (WSWL) campaign, very ably managed by Robin Bashford. Hopefully, Robin will shortly be available for selection himself following hand surgery. An away draw at Hockley on 11th December keeps AGC in a respectable mid-table position with three WSWL fixtures, two at home, one away, to go. Fingers crossed, we will continue to climb the table.

The Vets Christmas Scramble and Lunch took place on 4th December on a very sunny but cold winter’s day. With around half the Vets membership in attendance, many in seasonal attire, the 9 hole scramble format again proved very popular. Alas, the resulting heavy frost restricted play to temporary greens.

Following tradition, a number of guests joined the Vets for the scramble and lunch. These included Mary Rook and Mal Hope-Mason, the newly installed Club and Ladies Captains respectively, Jane and Malcolm Scott from the Pro Shop, David Maskery and Linda Westwood from the Secretary’s Office and the Course Manager, Simon Justice.

Following an excellent and lively lunch, a donation from the Vets was passed to Mary Rook for the 2020 Captains Charity, the Winchester Hospice. And, following his successful performance at last year’s lunch, George Skayman made a welcome reappearance entertaining the assembled throng with a medley of seasonal tunes courtesy of his flugelhorn.

This year’s Scramble winners were:

Front 9: Dudley George, Stuart Gaunt, Eddie Martin, Tony Shelton-Smith

Back 9: Nick Duncan, Philip Cartwright, John Miles, Ron Beal

A special prize, for sartorial elegance, was made to Bob Archer, whose jacket, tie and shirt combination looked like “an explosion in a paint factory”. Well done Bob.  

All in all, a really enjoyable day expertly organised and coordinated by Wynne Tufnell and Gareth Rees. Thanks Guys.

At the Vets AGM a new trophy was launched to encourage as many players as possible to play in the weekly Vets Wednesday morning Roll-Up. The competition for this new trophy runs from early November through to the end of March and will be awarded to the individual who accumulates most points based upon overall performance across the range of Roll-Up formats during the qualifying period. The Wednesday Roll-Up is a cornerstone of Vets golf at AGC and it is good that those who regularly support this event have some silverware to compete for. Gareth Rees is co-ordinating this particular competition.

Ed Tinley

Vets Captain 2020

…from the Secretary

Welcome to the following new members who have all joined the club starting during late November and December so far ;  Mark Arscott (7 day), John Silcock (5 day), Laura Barrow and Liam Seager (Intermediate), Max and Tom Arscott (Junior).

We hope that your time at the club will be a long and enjoyable one for all of you.

Remember – YOU, our members are our best salespeople. We need new members and have vacancies in all categories? If you know any friends or acquaintances who are thinking of joining a club or changing clubs or have new neighbours who have recently moved to the area, please do your best to sell them the benefits of Alresford Golf Club.


Fancy a game in the week? All members are welcome to come along to the ‘club roll-up’ on Wednesday mornings. The usual start time will be 11.00am all year – all timings subject to any advanced tee reservations. 


Wednesday 8th  ~ 11.00am
Wednesday 15th ~ 11.00am
Wednesday 22nd  ~ 11.00am
Wednesday 29th  ~ 11.00am


Wednesday 5th  ~ 11.00am
Wednesday 12th ~ 11.00am
Wednesday 19th  ~ 11.00am
Wednesday 26th ~ 11.00am


Friday 10th January
Fun Pub Quiz 

Sunday 20th January
Sunday Lunch Carvery

Saturday 25th January
Burns Night
(limited spaces available)

Friday 7th February
Fun Pub Quiz 

Friday 14th February
Valentines Dinner

Sheep on the course (2019 Rule update)

All members are reminded that entry into the sheep enclosure is NOT permitted.

Members with pace makers must stay away from the electric fence.

Any part of the general area of the course which is being used as a sheep enclosure is defined as an abnormal ground condition all of which is a no play zone. Rule 16.1f applies and free relief must be taken under Rule 16.1b. The nearest point of complete relief should be identified and a substitute ball must be dropped and come to rest in the relief area. If it is known or virtually certain that a ball that has not been found is in the sheep enclosure, then Rule 16.1e applies. The player may take free relief under Rule 16.1b using the estimated point where the ball crossed the edge of the sheep enclosure as the spot of the ball for the purposes of finding the nearest point of compete relief.  If, however, it is not known or virtually certain that the ball came to rest in the sheep enclosure, the ball is lost and the player must take stroke-and-distance relief under Rule 18.2.

This local rule is not optional – all players must take note.


All members should display their bag tag with a current year sticker whenever on the course.

WHITE = Academy or Winter member
RED = Junior member (Under 12)
MAROON = 5 day member
BLUE = 7 day member

Please Note: The 125 Metal Tag is NO LONGER acceptable

Subscription Renewals 2020

ALL Subscription invoices have been either emailed or posted and are now due. If you have not received yours please contact the Office immediately as payment is due on 1st January – but yes, you do have until 31st January to make your payment and still receive you £50 ‘on time ‘ payment to your bar card.

To help us with this we would appreciate the early settlement of invoices and so ease the burden on the Office.

If you intend not to rejoin – a telephone call or email to let us know is greatly appreciated. Simply to ignore your invoice and subsequent reminders just causes us extra work. You may have told your friends  – but that doesn’t count !

Looking for a way to ease the burden of subscription renewal each year why not join the ADVANCE SUBSCRIPTIONS SCHEME in 2020?

Choose any amount to pay over 10 months towards your subscription bill in 2021. Build up a credit on your account which is offset against your renewal bill due 1st January 2021. Pay as much or as little as you wish.

Speak to the Office for more details and to receive an ADVANCE SUBS mandate form.

Safe Winter Golf

Whilst temperatures have returned to a more balmy level, winter is still here and will no doubt disrupt our golf with rain, frost, fog, snow and ice on numerous occasions before the clocks return to summertime. 

Please bear the following in mind when playing.

  • If it is frosty or icy, the chance is that the car park will be slippery too ! Take care when driving around the car park. SLOWLY PLEASE. We will endeavour to grit the main walking areas around the clubhouse and car park but can not guarantee that every surface will be slip free!
  • The fact that the course has not been officially closed does not warrant that it is entirely fit for play.
  • Players have a duty of care not to behave in a manner that may be dangerous or cause harm to other players. DO NOT tee off the 1st tee until you have heard the bell or if you arrive on the tee and can not see a group ahead of you – wait a couple of minutes before teeing off JUST IN CASE …
  • They also have a duty of care not to injure themselves by paying particular care and attention to the conditions.
  • Please take extra care with regards to slipping on the wet, muddy or frozen ground – golf shoes will collect the mud and ice on the soles rendering your spikes useless. 
  • Avoid walking up or down slopes and banks wherever possible especially if with a trolley – use the proper paths. 
  • Do not walk across any slope or bank with your trolley, your golf shoes are not skis and you will not be able to traverse safely along a slope. Holding the weight of your golf trolley will cause you to loose footing !
  • Please obey all course signage and avoid area’s roped off – there is a reason for this !
  • Wooden sleeper edges will stay slippery and so do not walk on them.

Playing in such conditions can be dangerous – Players do so at their own risk !

Bar Closing Times

Please note change to FRIDAY bar closing times

Over the Winter / Spring period the Clubhouse (and Bar) will close on Fridays as per the normal weekday times, unless there is an event or pre-booked function.

Below is the current list of dates when the bar will be closed earlier.
Friday 3rd January
Friday 17th January
Friday 24th January
Please check the club website and main noticeboard for any changes to these dates.

David Maskery

FACEBOOK – check out our Facebook page

Make sure you ‘like’ our Facebook page and you will link to it and get the regular pictures and updates on what’s happening !

Burns Supper 2020

Saturday 25th January 7.00pm for 7.30pm

Now the Christmas and New Year celebrations are over, it’s time to book up for the first big event of 2020 … the Burns Supper.

This is an evening which can be enjoyed by everyone.  There are many reasons for this … the uniquely Scottish experience of good company with whisky, haggis, neeps (mashed swede) and tatties, and a light-hearted appreciation of Scotland’s Bard, and of course, the skirl of the bagpipes. The sign-up list for the evening is on the Social notice board.

This year the principal speakers will be Alistair Gray, who will propose the Immortal Memory; David Hope-Mason will be proposing the Toast tae the Lassies and will be hoping for a gracious reply from his wife and Ladies’ Captain, Mal Hope-Mason. George Clelland will ‘perform’ the Address to the Haggis in the time-honoured fashion.

The cost of the evening will be £28 per person and includes the three-course meal, coffee and a glass of your favourite tipple for the toasts after the meal. Please make sure you make your payment to the Office before the event. 

Contact George Clelland for further information.

Dress: Black Tie

Green News

As we enter the new “Roaring Twenties”, the Greenkeepers and the Greens Committee wish all members a very Happy New Year! 

We are all hoping this incessant rain will ease off to allow some of the course Development Projects to continue. The 13th Tee Work needed to go ‘on hold’ precisely because of these very wet conditions.

When we can continue, the large centre greenside bunker on the 13th will be remodelled into two smaller bunkers that should be more visible from the tee area. At this time, the 13th hole will close and be replaced by Hole 17a on the Academy Course.

Hole 17a will be 150 yards from a new Tee Mat to the Academy 6th Green.

We also hope to rework the 4th hole greenside bunkers and start some of the 1st Impressions project.

The detail of the 1st Impressions Project is now available on the Greens Page of the Club website; members are encouraged to look there.

The plan is to start some of the work this Winter and complete it next Winter.

Highlights include:-

  • a new practice swale;
  • new practice nets closer to the covered range bays;
  • path re-routed to the rear of the white tee;
  • yellow and white tees joined;
  • white tee enlarged rearwards and towards the chipping green;
  • red tee moved to the right but at the same distance;
  • new trees planted to emphasise the dog leg and screen the range;
  • some trees removed near the current practice nets;
  • new bunker added before the hump on the LHS to emphasise the dog leg;
  • fairway soil enriched to promote a thicker and greener fairway;
  • range ball dispenser and washer relocated to the covered range.

Following an update of the EGU website and ongoing discussions, the Greens Committee agreed to change the “classification” of single seat golf buggies to be treated the same as golf trolleys.

This will always be an ongoing review process to ensure we are being fair to all our members and the Course.

As part of this process we are going to update our Frost Policy as, in reality, ‘course restrictions’ are applied for a number of reasons, not just frost.

Once updated, it will be added onto the Greens Page.

Members have asked “who is who” with regard to our Greenkeepers:

So lets start with Simon our Course Manager.

Happily married with two children Simon has worked at Royal Winchester (1993-2002); Alresford (2002-2011) and Wellow (2001-2018). He has been back with us for a year now and is enjoying being with us. Equally as important the rest of the team are happy he is back! Apart from some quality family time he also enjoys the odd round of golf!

Eight weeks ago seven Greens were “drilled and filled”. They are noticeably healthier and thankfully drying out a lot faster.

All the greens have been aerated and sprayed with a fungicide to help combat disease over the Christmas break. The grass roots on the Greens have doubled in length over the last 12 months which will help as we go into the New Year. The sustainable approach to managing the surfaces is paying dividends. Again, the weather conditions have prevented much cutting, but we still have clear definition on the fairways.

Members are reminded that they can help by repairing any pitch mark(s) they see and by keeping trolleys well away from the Greens and the Bunkers (and never between the two!)

Bob Moore

A Look at the Rules


The handicap strokes are calculated as if all four players are present.

The absent player is still allowed to join the match between the play of two holes. (i.e. after a hole is decided and prior to a player teeing off the next hole)

100 Club

The winners of the 100 Club prize draw for January were:

£100 George Skayman

£50 Viv Pain

£32 Ian Robinson

£32 Pat Young

£32 Chris Chapman

£32 Rita Robinson

Firstly I would like to wish a very Happy New Year to all 100 Club members. And secondly congratulations to our winners of the first draw for 2020.  Both Ian and Rita Robinson have been lucky this time too, so a great way to kick off the new year.

The next draw will take place during week beginning 20 January 2020. 

What is the 100 Club?  

The Alresford Golf Club 100 Share Club was started in 1987 to raise extra funds to support and enhance the club Centenary celebrations which took place in 1990. Almost £5,000 was added to the Centenary Fund – a fantastic contribution.  

It proved so popular that members who had joined chose to continue the

scheme indefinitely.  The ongoing objective of the 100 Club was then agreed as being “to provide funds for capital expenditure to enhance the Golf Course and/or Club House”.  This is still very much the objective and projects supported by the 100 Club would generally be considered ‘extras’ and not necessarily within the Golf Club budget.

Many items have been purchased over the years with the new rattan patio furniture being the most recent.  In recent years the 100 Club has purchased the drinking fountain on the 4th/15th holes, the finger post signage, the Information Board and Clock at the first tee and the automated Defibrillator in the Entrance Hall.

So, can I join the 100 Club?  

Yes of course. New members are always welcome and so as a Golf Club member you can actively contribute towards future enhancements to the facilities on the Golf Course or Clubhouse whilst having the opportunity to win a monthly cash prize. Or why not increase your existing shareholding for an even better chance of a prize.  Shares can be purchased for £1 per month paid for by Standing Order and there is no limit on the number which can be held – most members have between 1 and 5 shares.  Each share is allocated a number which is entered into the monthly draw with a top prize of £100, with a second prize of £50 and four other prizes of £32. For more information contact Pat Wallis on 01420 564417 or, or call in to the Secretary’s Office.

Pat Wallis


Men’s & Mixed Competitions
7th December – Saturday Turkey Trot
1stMark Pyne41 pts
2ndRob White40
3rdDave Derrick39
3rdMel Exton39
3rdGrant Thorne39
6thRoy Partridge38
6thTony Stanton38
6thNeil Hunter38
9thDan Pulling37
8th December – Sunday Turkey Trot
1stPeter Whiting40 pts
2ndGary Mugford38
3rdMark Simpson37
3rdPaul Goodhew37
14th December – Pro’s Stableford
Division 1
1stStephen Morgan39 pts
2ndDavid Winter36
3rdMark Ogden36
15th December – Pro’s Stableford
Division 1
1stChris Stevens38 pts
2ndPaul Arber36
3rdLee Feast36
Ladies’ Competitions
December Stableford & Turkey Trot
Div 1Dorothy Shore33 pts
Div 2Jenny Dillon38 pts* overall winner
Div 3Jean Coveyduck36 pts

Social Committee

The months never went so quickly when I was previously on the committee, but here we go with another report.

Before I say what’s happened, I need to start with an apology. The Karaoke/Disco event scheduled for the Saturday 18th January has been deferred to a later date, to be confirmed. However, there are still plenty of things to get your brain around and teeth into at the club this month with a Quiz, a Carvery and even Burns Night.  

My first social committee event was the Captains’ Drive In at the beginning of December and, thanks to the hard work of the committee members, it seemed to go off without a hitch, well apart from my getting the Club Captains length of service completely wrong, which has put me firmly in the naughty corner for the year. One comment I heard was that it was a good event because it was over very quickly (I think that was a compliment?)

The Boxing Day Social Golf Match between the Pro and the Captain was unfortunately poorly attended, something to do with the weather I would think. I played and I am sure that there was one part of me that stayed dry even though I struggled to find it! Victory was claimed by the Pro and his team, very appropriate as it was his last Boxing Day match.

The New Years Eve Disco was fully subscribed, so thanks to all the attendees who make these events go so well.

The Social Committee look forward to presenting a range of events during 2020, so keep an eye on the Social Notice Board for more details.

March 7thClub Quiz with our very own quizmaster Kit Neilson

April 18th –  Live Music and Dancing

Les Thorne 

Late News for Members!!

  • Firstly, we are offering a promotion on Range cards for January, to encourage all that pre-season practice.
    • 2 x 10 token cards will be available at £30 .
    • Maximum of 2 per member.
  • Secondly, ALL members are reminded that if you are bringing guests to play:
    • They must have been ‘signed in’ by you and their green fee paid before play.
    • Payment after play is not acceptable!

…the sheep’s write to reply

… … … not so ha bloomin’ ha!   

Blimey its cold out on this course!

It’s also been very wet and windy the last month or so. Our woolly jumpers are not very waterproof and do soak up the water well, so, just like all of you, our weight has gone up over the festive break. The only difference with us is that when the sun comes out we will dry out and shrink, not sure about some of you though!

Those lovely green keepers have moved us towards what we gather is the 2nd green: we love watching all those golfers who moan that the greens are too slow, then promptly hit their balls down off the front, so remember we are watching!

One thing we do miss this time of year is seeing all the brightly coloured golf clothes as they are hidden by all those drab waterproofs. Why don’t they make jackets and over trousers in multi coloured bright patterns – now there’s an idea for you? Bet you thought we just stood around masticating!

We do hope that you can answer this conundrum that has been bothering us lately, particularly poor old Bah Bah who, despite being medicated, still worries about the tiniest things: When you hit your balls into the sandy holes you cuss and swear, ‘I hate sand’, ‘blah’ ‘blah’, you then promptly pay a fortune to go on holiday and sit on the sand … … and you think we are dumb animals! Next time you go in a bunker, pull up a deck chair and have a cocktail it will obviously relax you more than trying to hit that little white thing out of it!  

Oh, and don’t forget when you walk past us, please do say hello and remember we hear everything so when we look like we are ignoring you, we are in fact just playing it cool. So if you want us to bring something to the attention of the rest of the members please send a ‘ewemail’ to us!

A happy ‘ewe year’ to you all!

Editor: Trevor Hodgkinson


The Editorial Team take no responsibility for incorrect information received from Contributors.